Trueform Therapy

Tag: doubts

  • How to Tell if Your Therapist is a Good Fit

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    Finding the right therapist can be a transformative step in your journey toward better mental health. However, it’s not always easy to determine if a therapist is the right match for you. A good therapeutic relationship often involves a combination of professional qualifications, effective communication, and a strong sense of comfort and trust. Identifying a good fit can take time and requires careful evaluation, but doing so can significantly enhance the effectiveness of your therapy. This guide outlines the key factors to consider when assessing whether your therapist is the right fit for you.

    Qualifications and Experience

    Before diving into therapy sessions, it’s essential to verify your therapist’s credentials. This includes checking for relevant degrees and certificates, such as a degree in clinical psychology, counselling, or social work. Their qualifications ensure they have the necessary training to provide professional care. Beyond credentials, experience plays a crucial role. A therapist who has worked extensively with clients facing issues similar to yours will be better equipped to understand and address your unique challenges. For example, if you’re seeking help for anxiety or trauma, look for someone with a proven track record in those areas. Taking the time to research and ask about their expertise can make a world of difference in your therapeutic journey.

    Communication Style

    Effective therapy relies heavily on clear and empathetic communication between you and your therapist. During your initial sessions, pay close attention to how well your therapist listens and responds to your concerns. Do they acknowledge and validate your feelings, or do they appear dismissive or distracted? Additionally, consider whether their communication style resonates with you. Some individuals prefer a direct, solution-focused approach, while others may thrive with a more exploratory and conversational style. Ensuring that your therapist’s communication aligns with your preferences can significantly impact your comfort and the overall effectiveness of therapy.

    Comfort Level

    Therapy should feel like a safe space where you can be your authentic self. Take note of how comfortable you feel sharing personal details and exploring sensitive topics with your therapist. If you find yourself hesitant or guarded, ask yourself whether this is due to your own initial nerves or the therapist’s demeanour. Feeling safe and understood is fundamental to building a strong therapeutic alliance. Over time, as trust develops, you should feel increasingly at ease in your sessions. However, if you consistently feel uneasy or judged, it might be a sign that the therapist is not the right fit for you.

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    Treatment Approach

    Different therapists utilise a variety of therapeutic methods, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Psychodynamic Therapy, or Internal Family Systems (IFS). Understanding your therapist’s approach can help you determine whether it aligns with your personal goals and preferences. For instance, if you’re seeking practical coping strategies, a CBT-focused therapist might be more suitable. On the other hand, if you want to explore deep-seated emotional patterns, you might benefit from a psychodynamic approach. Don’t hesitate to ask your therapist about their methods and how they plan to tailor them to your needs. This transparency can provide clarity and reassurance as you embark on your therapeutic journey. (If you want to learn more about different types of modalities, this video explains the most common ones.)

    Progress Tracking

    A hallmark of effective therapy is regular monitoring of your progress. A good therapist will periodically check in to discuss what’s working and what isn’t, ensuring that the therapy remains dynamic and responsive to your evolving needs. They might use tools like goal-setting or self-assessment exercises to help you track improvements over time. Additionally, a great therapist will adapt their strategies as necessary, fine-tuning their approach to better address any challenges that arise. These adjustments demonstrate their commitment to your growth and their willingness to meet you where you are.

    Feedback and Collaboration

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    Therapy works best when it’s a collaborative process. A good therapist will actively encourage your input and make you feel like an equal partner in the journey. Do they ask for your feedback on the sessions? Are they open to adjusting their approach based on your preferences? This collaborative dynamic fosters a sense of empowerment and ensures that the therapy is tailored to your specific needs. Conversely, if the sessions feel overly rigid or one-sided, it may hinder your progress and reduce your overall satisfaction with the process.

    Trust and Rapport

    Trust is the cornerstone of a successful therapeutic relationship. Without it, even the most skilled therapist may struggle to provide meaningful support. Take time to evaluate whether you feel a genuine connection with your therapist. Do you trust their guidance and feel confident in their ability to help you? Building rapport often takes time, but if you consistently feel disconnected or sceptical, it might be worth considering a change. A strong sense of trust and mutual understanding can greatly enhance the therapeutic experience and contribute to long-term success.

    Accessibility and Availability

    Practical considerations, such as scheduling and responsiveness, are also important factors in determining whether a therapist is a good fit. Is your therapist available at times that work for you? Do they respond promptly to emails or messages, especially in urgent situations? Consistent accessibility ensures that you can rely on their support when you need it most. Additionally, consider logistical aspects such as session costs and location, as these factors can impact your ability to engage consistently in therapy.

    What to Do If Your Therapist Isn’t a Good Fit

    Realising that your therapist isn’t the right fit can feel daunting, but it’s an important step toward ensuring your mental health needs are properly addressed. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t hesitate to voice your concerns. Open communication allows both you and your therapist to address the issues and explore whether adjustments can be made. In some cases, they may even help you find a colleague who might be better suited to your needs. It’s essential to remember that therapists are human too; they genuinely want the best for you and won’t be annoyed or offended if you speak up. In fact, they may already sense the mismatch and be struggling to help you effectively. Therapy works best when both parties are aligned, and advocating for yourself ensures you’re prioritising your well-being while also allowing your therapist to support you in finding the right path forward. A mismatch can hinder progress, so taking this step ensures you’re working with someone who genuinely helps you thrive.

    Photo by Timur Weber on Pexels.com

    Finding the right therapist is a deeply personal and often iterative process. A good therapist should not only possess the necessary qualifications and expertise but also foster a sense of trust, comfort, and collaboration. By paying attention to factors such as communication style, treatment approach, and accessibility, you can ensure that your therapeutic relationship supports your journey toward well-being. Remember, it’s okay to reassess and make changes if the fit isn’t right. Your mental health is worth the effort it takes to find the best possible support.

  • Can Counselling Really Help? An Honest Answer

    “Can counselling really help?”

    It’s one of the most common questions people bring to a first session, sometimes before they’ve even sat down. Often it comes with other questions underneath it. What if I don’t know what to say? What if talking to a stranger makes things worse? What if I’m not the kind of person it works for?

    I understand those doubts, because I had them too. I’ve been a client myself, and I was sceptical about whether talking to someone could really make a difference.

    So I want to give an honest answer to that question. Not a sales pitch, and not a list of reassurances, but what the research and my own experience actually say.

    The Short Answer

    For most people, yes. Counselling helps.

    The research on this is large and fairly consistent. For depression, talking therapy and antidepressant medication have broadly similar effects in the short term. A 2013 review led by Pim Cuijpers, who has spent much of his career comparing treatments for depression, also found that people were less likely to drop out of therapy than out of medication. And people who had CBT were less likely to relapse afterwards than people who stopped taking medication. The changes people make in therapy seem to last after it ends.

    There’s also UK research that matters particularly for counsellors. In the PRaCTICED trial, published in The Lancet Psychiatry in 2021, researchers in Sheffield compared person-centred counselling with CBT for 510 people with moderate to severe depression in the NHS. At six months, counselling was found to be no less effective than CBT. At twelve months, CBT had a small edge. It’s a reminder that different approaches can work, and that the full picture is rarely as simple as one therapy being “the best”.

    That said, “most people” isn’t “everyone”, and I’ll come back to that.

    What Actually Makes It Work

    If you ask people what makes therapy work, they often guess it’s the technique: the right method, the right exercises. Technique matters. But one of the most consistent findings in therapy research points somewhere else.

    An international task force led by Christoph Flückiger at the University of Zurich looked at almost 400 studies of the relationship between client and therapist, sometimes called the therapeutic alliance. Across different approaches, problems and countries, the quality of that relationship predicted how well therapy went. In other words, feeling understood, trusting the person you’re working with, and agreeing on what you’re working towards are not just pleasant extras. They’re part of what makes change possible.

    There’s another finding I find important, and it comes from the research behind the approach I trained in. Mick Cooper, who helped develop pluralistic counselling, worked with colleagues on a review of 51 studies involving around 16,000 clients. They found that when people received the kind of therapy they preferred, they did a little better, and they were almost half as likely to drop out early.

    That means your preferences matter. If you know you want practical tools, or space to talk without being steered, or to understand where your patterns come from, that’s useful information, not something to keep to yourself. A good counsellor will want to know.

    The Part People Don’t Talk About

    Here’s something that rarely appears on therapy websites: counselling doesn’t help everyone. In clinical trials, an estimated 5 to 10 percent of adults end therapy feeling worse than when they started. In routine care, the figures for people who don’t improve are higher still.

    What’s striking is how poorly therapists notice this. In one well-known study, therapists were told how often clients in their clinic usually got worse, and then asked to predict which of their own clients would. Out of 550 clients, they predicted just three.

    I’m not sharing this to put anyone off. I’m sharing it because it changes something important: if counselling isn’t helping, it’s not a sign that you’re failing at it. It might be the wrong approach, the wrong timing, or simply the wrong fit. The most useful thing you can do is say so. Any good counsellor should welcome that conversation. And if it still doesn’t feel right, it’s completely acceptable to try someone else.

    What Counselling Isn’t

    A few ideas tend to put people off before they start.

    It isn’t only for people in crisis. Many people come to counselling not because everything has fallen apart, but because something feels stuck, or heavy, or not quite right. You don’t have to wait until things feel unbearable.

    It isn’t a quick fix, but it isn’t endless either. Change usually takes time, and it isn’t always a straight line. Sometimes things feel harder before they feel easier. But it also shouldn’t feel like years of going round in circles. It’s reasonable to talk with your counsellor, from time to time, about how things are going.

    Your counsellor won’t tell you what to do. The decisions about your life stay yours. That doesn’t mean sitting in silence, though. Depending on what you want, a counsellor might offer ideas, share something useful about how the mind works, or suggest something to try. The point is that it’s collaborative, and you’re in charge of the direction.

    My Own Experience as a Client

    When I first went to counselling, I felt overwhelmed and unsure how to make sense of my own emotions. I didn’t expect much.

    Slowly, I began to understand the patterns underneath the anxiety and self-doubt I’d been carrying. My counsellor introduced things like mindfulness and journaling, which helped me step back and see my feelings more clearly. The changes were small at first: feeling calmer in situations that used to set me off, being able to say what I needed, reconnecting with friends and family in a healthier way.

    It wasn’t always easy. But by the end, I felt more in control of my life, and kinder towards myself than I’d been before. Those changes didn’t disappear when the sessions ended, either. I still draw on them today.

    What the First Sessions Are Like

    The first session or two are mostly about getting to know each other. Your counsellor will ask what’s brought you, a little about your life and history, and what you’d like to be different. You don’t have to tell your whole story at once, or know exactly what you want to work on. It’s fine to say “I’m not sure”, and to start there.

    It’s also a chance for you to decide whether this feels like someone you can work with. You’re allowed to ask questions too: how they work, what they’ve trained in, what happens if something isn’t working.

    Your counsellor will also explain confidentiality. What you share stays private, with a small number of exceptions, such as when there’s a serious risk of harm to you or someone else. A good counsellor will be clear about exactly where those limits are, so there are no surprises.

    Starting Where You Are

    Deciding to try counselling can take a long time. If you’ve been wondering whether it could help, that wondering is worth paying attention to.

    At Trueform Therapy, I offer one-to-one sessions in person in Cardiff and online across the UK and EU. My training is integrative and pluralistic, which means we’ll shape the work around what helps you, rather than fitting you into a single approach. If you’d like to find out whether we’d be a good fit, you’re welcome to get in touch for an initial conversation.

    You don’t need to have the right words. You can start exactly where you are.

    If You Want to Explore These Ideas Further

    If you’re curious about what research says about how therapy works, Mick Cooper’s Essential Research Findings in Counselling and Psychotherapy is the clearest summary I know of. It’s written for practitioners, but it’s readable and honest about what we do and don’t know.

    For a view from inside the therapy room, Irvin Yalom’s The Gift of Therapy (2002) is a short, warm collection of reflections from one of the most respected therapists of his generation.

    And if you’d like to know what therapy feels like from both chairs, Lori Gottlieb’s Maybe You Should Talk to Someone (2019) follows a therapist who goes to see a therapist herself. It’s funny, moving and surprisingly honest.

    And if you’d like to look at the research directly: