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There’s a question I ask in the therapy room that most people can’t answer straight away. I ask people what loving themselves would actually mean, what it would look like on an ordinary Tuesday. And usually I get a puzzled look. Sometimes a nervous laugh. Sometimes a long silence. And then something like: “I don’t… Read more: The Five Thousand Roses: What We Get Wrong About Loving Ourselves

I’ve spent most of my life between two languages, and I only recently understood what that has cost me — and what it’s given me. I grew up speaking Hungarian, in a language that wraps itself around complexity. Hungarian doesn’t let you be definitive in the way English does. There’s room for doubt in the… Read more: Between Languages: Why Nuanced Thinking Feels Like a Rebellion

I’ve been thinking lately about how difficult it can be to know which of our thoughts are actually ours. Not in the obvious sense. Of course I have my own opinions. I know what I like, what I believe, what I agree with and what I don’t. At least, I think I do. Every now… Read more: How Belonging Shapes Our Thoughts

You know the moment. Someone asks for a favour, or adds one more thing to your already full week, and your chest tightens. You want to say no. You can feel the word somewhere near the back of your throat. And then, before you’ve really decided anything, a cheerful “yes, of course” comes out instead.… Read more: The No That Costs Less Than You Fear

Therapy doesn’t have to happen in a beige room with a box of tissues on the table. I’ve known for a long time that walking is where my own real thinking happens. Not at a desk, not when I’m trying hard to think, but on a path somewhere, moving, with my eyes on the trees… Read more: Walking Side by Side: What Happens When Therapy Leaves the Room

You’re still showing up. Still meeting deadlines, still answering messages, still holding things together. And yet something is off. There’s a heaviness that doesn’t lift after a weekend, and a sense that you’re running on something you can’t quite refill. You might be wondering whether you’re simply not coping well enough. Or whether everyone feels… Read more: Why Rest Isn’t Fixing It: Burnout in People Who Are Still Coping

“Burnout” has become a catch-all term. People use it to describe everything from being tired of work to feeling completely depleted. This overuse can be misleading because not all burnout is the same, and making that distinction matters for how you recover. In therapy, I often see people who have taken time off, rested, even… Read more: Burnout vs Autistic Burnout: Why They’re Not the Same

People often talk about being stuck as if it were a malfunction. As if something in them is failing to do its job. They know what needs to change. They’ve thought about it carefully. They may even be tired of talking about it. And yet, nothing shifts. Sitting with someone in that place, I’m rarely… Read more: Feeling Stuck Before Change: A Common Psychological Pattern

The Pressure of a New Year If you’re heading into January and everyone around you seems to be rewriting their habits, setting goals, or talking about the year ahead with excitement, you might feel like you’re supposed to join in. You might notice the pressure creeping in from conversations, adverts, or even just the tone… Read more: Burnout in January: How to Navigate Comparison, Shame, and Pressure at the Start of the Year

The Common Moment in Therapy “I don’t know why I feel this way.” Have you ever said that out loud while sitting with a friend or a counsellor, trying to make sense of what you’re feeling? I know I’ve been there. Sitting there, feeling the wheels of my mind turning, searching for any possible reason… Read more: Learning to Sit With Your Emotions: How to Feel Without Needing to Know Why

I heard Brené Brown say that on a podcast recently. I nearly skipped past it (she says a lot of things worth writing down), but this one stayed with me. It made me think about how often we confuse fitting in with being connected. In therapy, that confusion shows up all the time: people are… Read more: “Fitting in is the greatest threat to belonging.”

When You’re Everyone’s Go-To Person You know that evening you’d planned? The one with a home-cooked dinner, a book, and maybe a bit of quiet? Somehow it turns into chocolate cookies and ice cream with a friend who’s having a crisis. You tell yourself it’s fine because you’re a good friend. And you are. You… Read more: Why It’s So Hard to Stop Being the Strong One

The Extinction-Level Threat of Perfectionism Imagine a species so obsessed with being flawless that it refuses to adapt. Can’t climb a tree because its claws aren’t “perfectly aligned”? Won’t eat a new type of berry because it’s not “ideal”? You’d be extinct before lunch. And yet, as humans, we sometimes do the exact same thing.… Read more: Why Trying to Be Perfect Might Drive You Towards Your Own Extinction

You probably imagine your therapist living a flawless life: a spotless apartment, a white fence outside, a matcha latte in hand, never raising their voice or losing their temper. Maybe you picture us gliding through every awkward or painful moment with calm wisdom, always knowing the right thing to say, as if a secret emotional… Read more: Therapists Are People Too: What You Really Get in Counselling

You’ve been chasing that “better version” of yourself for a while.Scrolling past every post that promises a total life reset in 30 days and thinking, maybe this will be the one that works.You download the app, set your alarms, and colour-code the habit tracker.You tell yourself this time will be different, but within a week,… Read more: Understanding Perfectionism: Breaking the Cycle

Feeling tired all the time isn’t always about sleep. You might be getting eight hours of sleep, taking magnesium, cancelling plans like it’s a sport, and still dragging yourself through the day. People assume tiredness means you need more rest. And sure, sometimes that’s true. But if you’ve already slowed down, said no to things,… Read more: Why Am I So Tired All the Time? It Might Not Be Just Burnout

Many of us are doing everything we’re supposed to. We journal. Meditate. Do breathwork. Exercise. Eat the “right” food. Cut out coffee. Try the matcha. Watch reels about nervous system regulation. And still, something feels off. Even when we’re more self-aware, more in control, and more emotionally literate, there can be a quiet ache underneath… Read more: Why You Still Feel Disconnected… Even When You’re “Working on Yourself”

You might think of your brain as a thinking organ. It is. But it’s also a pattern hoarder with zero chill. It quietly collects whatever you keep showing it — thoughts, emotions, behaviours — and decides, “Ah, this must be important.” Not because it makes sense, but because it keeps happening. This isn’t a metaphor.… Read more: Here’s exactly how your brain filters the world, based on what you focus on

You’re not crazy for crying at a yoghurt commercial. Or snapping at your partner over a dishwasher situation that was really about… everything else. Maybe you’ve felt totally overwhelmed lately. But when someone asks how you are, all you can say is “I’m just tired.” Except it’s not just tired. It’s something messier. Sadness? Anger?… Read more: Why Am I Feeling This? Learning to Decode Your Emotions

You move to a new country, learn a new language, and suddenly you’re the shy one at parties. Back home, you could talk the ears off a donkey. Here, you’re nodding politely while someone explains the bus timetable for the third time. Or maybe it’s the other way round. You were always quiet in your… Read more: How Language Shapes Who You Are

We know we’ll die. That’s not the problem.The problem is how awkward we get about it. Like we’re trying to quietly back out of the room without making eye contact with the Grim Reaper. We avoid the word “death” like it’s bad luck. We say “passed away” or “lost them” or “gone to a better… Read more: Why We Avoid Talking About Death and Why It Matters That We Do

Most people don’t recognise burnout straight away. It usually starts as something familiar: tiredness. The kind you assume will go away with a good night’s sleep or a quieter weekend. But over time, something shifts. Rest stops working in the way it used to. A common description I hear in sessions is this:“I’m sitting in… Read more: Burnout: When Your Brain Quietly Packs a Bag and Leaves

Someone walked into my therapy room today and said something that stayed with me long after they left. “I don’t usually cry. I always say I’m fine. But I’m not. And I think I need help.” It hit me—because I know that person. Not just professionally, but personally. I’ve been that person. Maybe you have… Read more: For the Ones Who Always Say They’re Fine: Why Therapy Isn’t Just for Breakdowns

For years, I thought my worth depended on what I achieved. Good grades, promotions, milestones—if I wasn’t checking off boxes, I felt like I was failing at life. My value felt tied to how productive I was. Then I hit a wall. I worked relentlessly for a promotion I didn’t get. I had convinced myself… Read more: Self-Worth Isn’t Earned: How to Stop Measuring Your Value by Achievements

Grief is strange. One moment you’re making a cup of tea, the next, a song sneaks up on you, and suddenly, you’re back in a moment you can never return to. It’s an uninvited guest, showing up at the worst times, making itself comfortable when you least expect it. Despite what we’re led to believe,… Read more: Grief Isn’t Just Tears and Sad Songs—It’s Talking to the Dead and Getting Annoyed with Them Too

If you’ve ever been asked to name your values, you’ve probably seen a list like this: integrity, freedom, compassion, growth, connection, adventure. You’re invited to pick your top five, and then live by them. It’s a reasonable exercise. But in the therapy room, I’ve noticed it often misses the harder question. Most people can pick… Read more: Are Your Values Really Yours?

Maybe it’s a small thing. Your therapist said something that didn’t sit right, and you nodded along. Maybe it’s bigger: weeks of sessions that feel like they’re going nowhere, or a sense that you’re not being understood. You notice it on the way home. You think about mentioning it next time. And then, next time,… Read more: When Something Feels Off With Your Therapist

Anxiety is not a personal failing, a mindset problem, or a sign that you “can’t relax”. It’s your body’s threat system doing its job. Sometimes the visit is brief and useful. Sometimes anxiety arrives, puts its feet up on the coffee table, and refuses to leave. Most advice about anxiety is about getting rid of… Read more: Why Trying to Calm Down Can Keep You Anxious

“Can counselling really help?” It’s one of the most common questions people bring to a first session, sometimes before they’ve even sat down. Often it comes with other questions underneath it. What if I don’t know what to say? What if talking to a stranger makes things worse? What if I’m not the kind of… Read more: Can Counselling Really Help? An Honest Answer